Sonora, Kentucky, resident and social worker Amanda Williamson said she wasn’t prepared to take in her four nieces and nephew when they were removed from her sister’s care in 2020. From the moment she and her husband brought the kids home, she said they had to make some serious changes.
“We started as kinship and there's no real assistance for kinship care,” Williamson said. “I knew that I wanted to become a foster parent so we could get the financial aid and the emotional support and the family support.”
Not only did Williamson have to navigate the foster care system during the pandemic, but she said she also had to learn about what it took to become a medically complex foster parent.
Medically complex foster care is for foster children who have a medical condition, ranging from diabetes to cancer. While challenging, two Kentucky foster families said it's worth it to give these kids a better life.
The program taught Williamson how to take care of her 13-year-old niece Kalegh, who had some developmental delays and was later bound to a wheelchair. Williamson said she also took in two of her younger nieces, then eight and five years old, who have autism and some cognitive delays.
“It's not a typical foster family kind of situation, because we have all the other factors in there,” Williamson said. “But we're working through it. We keep trucking on.”
Williamson said being a medically complex foster has its challenges. In December last year, Kalegh died suddenly after catching a stomach virus then going into cardiac arrest.
“It was very unexpected,” Williamson said with tears in her eyes.
As she grieved the loss of her niece, Williamson said she knew Kalegh felt loved from the moment she moved in until the day she passed away.
“That's my baby,” Williamson said. “I poured everything I had into that child. So, I know that the four years that we had her were the best four years of her life.”
Williamson and her husband are still fostering her other nieces and nephew. They’re now 16, 12, 10 and 9 years old. She said the love she gave Kalegh pushes her to be the best parental figure she can for the other four kids still in her care.
“I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect. Nobody has this parenting thing down 100%, but the goal is to just give them everything you can every single day,” she said. “But they know they're loved, and they know that we have their best interest at heart, and they know that we've got their backs.”
‘A responsibility to give back’
Louisville residents Anne and Jeff Staley fostered eight children over the years since 2017. Anne said their work as special education teachers drew them to work with medically complex kids.
“We feel as though we're called to the sort of mission field with foster care,” Anne said. “And we just felt like we've been blessed with a lot of things in our life, and that we have a responsibility to give back and to take care of those in need.”
When the Staleys became foster parents, they said they had no plans to adopt. That was until Anne got a referral during the pandemic for a 10-year-old girl named Cassidy with spina bifida, a deformity in the spine that usually appears at birth.
The Staleys adopted Cassidy last year.
“And now they can't get rid of me, even if they wanted to,” Cassidy said smiling and chuckling with her adoptive parents.
While foster kids with any medical condition are labeled medically complex, Anne said “complex” can be misleading.
“Just because a child is labeled medically complex, it doesn't mean it's a situation where you're going to need to be giving around-the-clock, skilled care,” Anne said.
Since Cassidy’s adoption, Anne said the girl — now 14 years old — is nearly independent and healthier than when she was adopted. Anne said, most medically complex foster children, specifically teenagers, need a place to learn how to manage their medical condition with a supportive family.
“[We] just hope that we can be a role model and shine a light for them during a tough time in their lives,” Anne said. “Because I can't imagine being 15, 16, 17 and not having a family to rely on, because [Jeff and I] were both fortunate to be raised in families where we had a solid support system, and I can't imagine being alone like that.”
It takes a village
Both the Staleys and the Williamsons foster through Home of the Innocents, a residential care facility and private adoption agency in Louisville.
There are more than 8,000 children in foster care in the commonwealth, Kentucky’s Cabinet for Health and Family Services reported in October.
Robbie Gulick, the vice president of Foster Care and Adoption at Home of the Innocents, said medically complex foster parents require the same certification as general foster parents.
Potential foster parents can apply through Kentucky's Department of Community Based Services or through a private adoption agency. From there, prospective parents take several training courses and have the option to become “therapeutic fosters,” which includes training on de-escalation, trauma-informed care and other mental health-related issues.
Gulick said medically complex foster parents must take an extra 12 hours of training each year.
“You're having to do extra training so that you can learn how to take care of the medical needs of a variety of different medical problems for children that are designated medically complex,” Gulick said.
Foster parents also receive stipends from the state to cover their foster child’s medical expenses.
Gulick said the ideal medically complex foster parent is “someone who has a heart for the mission.” He said most foster children are young adults between the ages of 12 and 18.
“Help these young people get on their feet,” Gulick said. “Even if you are willing to do short-term placement and mentoring of a youth in foster care that does huge things for them and potentially connects them to the community in a way that is healthy and helpful for them. It makes them feel like they have a sense of belonging.”
He said medically complex foster families don’t go through challenges and life changes alone.
It’s important for each foster family to have a support network within the adoption agency. At Home of the Innocents, Gulick said he provides families with therapy resources and support groups. He said they also throw holiday parties for the families and host events.
He encouraged those who are interested to meet other medically complex foster families to better understand the process.
“The more that you ask about it, the more supported that everybody that's in the system feels because you're interested in it,” Gulick said. “If you learn more about it, I think you'll learn that there are different options that you can take on if you want to support the system.”
